one of the hardest days of my life

Have spent Christmas Day alone for the first time in 38 years. Have finally split up from my sex addict 'boyfriend' after nearly three years. I had reached my bottom line, after countless betrayals and broken promises I woke up from my delusions and denials and told him that we could on no longer without him entering therapy. He refused and blamed me for our problems. He has been increasingly distant since I started my own therapy and suspected he had met yet another lady. Of course my intuition was right. So alone of my own choice was invited out but thought that spending this time alone would really make me think about the issues I have and force  me to deal with them, rather than bury my head in the sand and eventually have to deal with this pain again. Have thought of him incessantly but have a new emotion, anger and it feels right and I dont feel guilty at all, wish I had felt like this before. Have been reading (Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction A Codependents perspective by Christine A. Adams; superb ) drinking, relaxing and crying in no particular order and it seems to be working, but wow it has been hard, but I didn't die and I thought without him I would, immediately. Happy Christmas to any other Gods and Goddesses facing a difficult time my love and virtual support goes out to all of you.   

I went through this 3 years

I went through this 3 years ago. Stick to your intuition - I separated from my partner of 15 years on nothing but intuition, & became single for the first time in my life at Christmas time. It was the most painful period imaginable, which lasted a good 6 months, during which I began my recovery in SLAA, and began to accept my part in the relationship. 3 years on, I can say that my main block of initial withdrawal is over, and the relationship has experienced strong healing, yet I experience daily withdrawal sometimes in fighting against addiction. It is a clever illness, but my Higher Power is much cleverer. I think for me getting to a meeting & sharing is the best way to recover, as often as possible for the first few months. Stay well.