Have spent Christmas Day alone for the first time in 38 years. Have finally split up from my sex addict 'boyfriend' after nearly three years. I had reached my bottom line, after countless betrayals and broken promises I woke up from my delusions and denials and told him that we could on no longer without him entering therapy. He refused and blamed me for our problems. He has been increasingly distant since I started my own therapy and suspected he had met yet another lady. Of course my intuition was right. So alone of my own choice was invited out but thought that spending this time alone would really make me think about the issues I have and force me to deal with them, rather than bury my head in the sand and eventually have to deal with this pain again. Have thought of him incessantly but have a new emotion, anger and it feels right and I dont feel guilty at all, wish I had felt like this before. Have been reading (Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction A Codependents perspective by Christine A. Adams; superb ) drinking, relaxing and crying in no particular order and it seems to be working, but wow it has been hard, but I didn't die and I thought without him I would, immediately. Happy Christmas to any other Gods and Goddesses facing a difficult time my love and virtual support goes out to all of you.
Withdrawal
It must have been very painful to face the reality of the situation.Well done so far, this addiction is cunning baffleing and powerful ..a good suggestion at this time would be to get to an Slaa meeting as soon as possible before the great resolve you have found is eroded by the negotive thoughts that are part of withdrawl and have have dragged so many of us back into illness. Keep strong ...and Get To A Meeting ASAP!!! there is a meetings list on this website ...it is very ..very difficult to recover from SLA without going to meetings ..we are very often powerless over it in early days of recovery.
Thy Will not Mine be done.