one of the hardest days of my life

Have spent Christmas Day alone for the first time in 38 years. Have finally split up from my sex addict 'boyfriend' after nearly three years. I had reached my bottom line, after countless betrayals and broken promises I woke up from my delusions and denials and told him that we could on no longer without him entering therapy. He refused and blamed me for our problems. He has been increasingly distant since I started my own therapy and suspected he had met yet another lady. Of course my intuition was right. So alone of my own choice was invited out but thought that spending this time alone would really make me think about the issues I have and force  me to deal with them, rather than bury my head in the sand and eventually have to deal with this pain again. Have thought of him incessantly but have a new emotion, anger and it feels right and I dont feel guilty at all, wish I had felt like this before. Have been reading (Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction A Codependents perspective by Christine A. Adams; superb ) drinking, relaxing and crying in no particular order and it seems to be working, but wow it has been hard, but I didn't die and I thought without him I would, immediately. Happy Christmas to any other Gods and Goddesses facing a difficult time my love and virtual support goes out to all of you.   

Sensitive

Thanks for your reply, I'm feeling very sensitive at the moment, I am not in a relationship and am trying to give up old behaviours that would lead to one. I am out in the world without the protective blanket of 'love' or another 'being' to distract me from myself. Boy does it hurt! I feel like my skin has been peeled off. I have spent today trying to be kind to myself, doing the right things, phoned some SLAA members, went walking in the hills ( even though misty and wet), made myself sweet potato soup and spoke to my sponsor. It's been good to have this forum today, didn't realise it was new, thanks for everyone who contributes, makes me feel I'm not alone.