Whatever you do please do not act out ie. masturbate. By acting out at this stage it will be much harder to come to a state where you are right now. Becase you will have already had that awareness. I know exactly what and your at right now. I have been in withdrawal fom the 13th December 2009. The migraines, stomach pains, the constant eating was painful. But I never acted out, now and again I would try to look at softcore porn on the tv before I went to bed but all that did was to resurge the feeling to look at porn the next day, it was it I had prodded a lion. My sponsor tells me that the first 6 months are hard, very hard, but after that things will become a lot clearer. Right now I am not sane, I know that, and I would love to see what I am like when the blinkers come off, and I am sure you would too. Don't kid yourself, looking at porn will not make you feel better, its a lie. Think about the guilt you felt after you acted out, did that make you feel good? Trust me, get into fellowship, air everything out about your past, especially your childhood, don't leave a single stone unturned. I did that last week and I felt such a relief, it took a lot of courage, but I did it. What helped me was writing a personal inventory about my childhood experiences. It opened a pandora's box, but I realised that I went thru' a lot of childhood trauma, such as domestic violence, sexual molestation, and growing up without my parents between 6 to 16. I really found that writing down my thoughts helped release a lot of anger I had towards certain family members, without being  confronting them face to face about the past. Right now, I have had suicidal thoughts, which I have never had before, because of the compulsion to look at hardcore porn again. However, my sponsor says this is normal. I suggest that you get a sponsor as well, preferably a man and develop a relationship with him to talk about how you feel.