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Trying to support Husband with SLA
17 August 2009 - 4:43pm — cathy
I am feeling so utterly alone. My husband is home after recieving help in a clinic for sla. I am trying to cope, i have tried to attend meetings, but where i am there is only al-anon meetings and they have suggested i dont go as i wont be able to share or be able to relate to ther other family members there. I have no where to turn at the minute. I am feeling terrified and alone. Thanks you for listening
Hi,I have been trying to
Hi,I have been trying to find somewhere to go for support. I have been attending counciling but my councilor doesn't really understand and I have found this hard. Because of some of the things he has done, I can't even discuss with friends/family. Although O know it's not my fault. I too really need someone else to talk to and share my experience. My partner of 10 years is on anti depressants and attending counciling. But its so hard. You wonder if you should leave but then everyone has left him and you love him alot.I fully understand were you are . I have even considered starting my own support group for the partners of SLA.I have read The porn Trap and Hope. Hope was great and has made me feel stronger although it does talk about god alot. However I feel I keep asking GOD why why!! alot. Take care I guess there is more than me and you out there trying to live life.
Hi Lottie, Thank you so much
Hi Lottie, Thank you so much for replying. Thank you for sharing, sometimes i see light at the end of the tunnel but alot of the time there is no light and no hope. Sometimes i wonder if love is enough. I dont see my life without my husband but he has caused so much pain and hurt i wonder if this can be rectified. I have ordered some literature from America which i am hoping may help me understand more. But i would love to read Hope if it has helped you gain strength i would also love to gain more strength, could you name Author for me? Thank you for listening. Take care
Hi Cathy Hope after betrayal
Hi Cathy
Hope after betrayal by meg wilson. I really connected with the book. She talks about her experiences. A normal woman who finds out her husband has had a separate life for 17 years.
My partner had a nervous break down which led him to seek councilling and medication. The woman he was having an affair with came to see me. She had tracked down another woman he had also been sleeping with .I knew he looked at porn but had no idea about his double life. From the outside we look like a normal couple and have a great life together. Oh my god. the weird thing is there has always been women but I have trusted him. At present he is on the chase of a woman who is friends of a friend. He openly talks about sleeping with other women and feels he is looking for lust. he feels fustrated with our sex life that it doesn't give him what he needs. We no longer make love it is all about the need he has. But in the same breath he tells me he loves me. All i have been able to do is to work out what is acceptable behaviour for me and to work out my boundaries.
I love him and would like the man I love back. The man I wake up with is the man I fell in love with the man who I go to bed with is different man. It makes me so sad. That after 10 years I may have to leave someone I love and not because of the relationship. But because of something that happened long before I met him has corrupted what we have.
Take care x
Lottie,Thank you so much for
Lottie,Thank you so much for the information of the book, i will go and get it tomorrow. I am trying to read up as much as i can on any information that is out there.I am with you when you say you want the man you love back. My husband spent 5 weeks in a clinic and i feel he is slowly coming back to the man i fell in love with. It was a very truamatising time but i still have my fingers crossed that it is helping him recover. I feel the pain and saddness you feel, and we are not alone. I am attending my first al-anon meeting tomorrow night, i am terrified but i need help and support from people in the same position. Maybe you could find one of these meetings near you. And it would be a step in the right direction with getting on with your recovery. All i have realised since my life was turned upside down i have to try (even though it is so hard) is to focus on me! My husband has focused on himself for way to long and never on me, and now i am the only person left to care for myself. I feel like i can conect with you. And i hope you can gain some strength from my words like i have from yours.Take care and look after yourselfx