Hi Grace,Iam assuming that you have been in recovery for little over 30 days? I have been in fellowship for 17months and it is only in the last 3 months that i started to 'get' the full implications of this dis-ease and why i can feel so raw and obsessive when in withdrawl from a person/fantasy/situation, so to get that awareness quite early on is great. But of course we all 'get' it at our own pace and it's about qulaity and not quantity.  I was at a meeting recently and a female newcomer, who. as an observation, was in real pain and very disillusioned, said ' How does anything get resolved in this fellowship? what has talking about day to day occurences got to do with recovery?'  I could relate totally with her state of mind, as an addict you need want to control everything and do it 'Your way', To try and re-write the steps, the basic text, the whole bally lot of it because it doesn't fit in to our notion of 'fixing' a problem. I remember saying at one one meeting early in in recovery, ' Do we have to read the steps out in order? can't we just read them out randomly?' and i meant it!..this tried and tested method needed my help...and i too used to listen to people sharing about their cat being ill or that their car isn't running properly or they got slightly annoyed at the next door neighbour and think, 'What the hell has this got to do with wanting to act out?' but through it this disillusionment and wanting to control things i kept coming back... i knew that this was it, my last and only place to get what i needed, i had tried everything else, doing it my way, for twenty years and it didnt work; with just me and my will steering the ship i always ended up being seduced by the mermaids and crashed hopelessley in to the rocks, time and time and time again. I slowly began to realise that letting my God steer the ship, i was able to navigate the stormy waters of withdrawl and head towards the calm sea of serenity without smashing into the rocks of life  through fear and resentment. The way this happened was to share all the things that were bothering me, both sexual and non-sexual, to keep my life an open book, have no secrets; this meant i didnt have to deal with everything in my own head, that i could get perspective on it and deprive these thoughts of the chance to manifest into huge fears which would keep me locked into the cycle of of my addiction; i could get some peace of mind! i didnt have to carry all this crap around with me! i could be free!! but i had to keep coming back, i had to practise these principles in ALL areas of my life and practice them consistently, no holidays, no days off, 24/7. I had to re program my self entirely and be open to the fact that everything i previously believed about myself and my view of the world COULD be wrong.It's no wonder that there a few meetings about outside major cities, that there are even fewer long term sober people in these meetings as it recovery from this requires complete surrender and a willingness to change our very core, mannerisms, language, clothes, jobs, friends..EVERYTHING! to go to any lengths to stay sober one day at a time, which is why i feel so incredibly gratefula and fortunate that i have found this fellowship and the amazing people within it to help guide and sustain my recovery, one day at a time i have a chance of a fulfilling life. It's such a lot to take in but i realised when i saw and heard the quality of life that some members have then i knew the only way to achieve anything near that is to do what they do...I hope your getting some comfort from your sharing and recovery program and that, as you already mentioned, means that the good and bad feelings always pass, we dont have to act out on them, just accept them and keep going to any lengths.I realise this has been quite rambling but iam sharing from the heart and accept for attempting to correct my typos, is unedited, the words arent as important as the message. It's a beatiful day outside, i have money in my pocket and hope in my heart and just for today, i am sober from my bottom line behaviours, iam very grateful to be alive. God bless you S.  Don't act out and the answers will come.