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step 1 i admit im powerless over him
im not sure how this works but im willing to try anything to that may help me , ive just come across the slaa website and think i may have some of the traits , ive yet to attend a meeting i have been having a few problems with a man who i belive that i love deeply ... im in recovery from drugs and alchol and he is in and out of the rooms not quite ready yet to quit .... i try hard to stay away from him but really struggle to let go completly as i love him ... just one text or call and im powerless around him he has never used in front of me thank god and always stays away but im now starting to see how this man is like a drug to me ... when we see each other it is great we are like soul mates he promises me that he wants soberity and that he will call me again ... he doesnt i then get angry with myself frustrated upset then somehow go back to lovin him all over again and wanting to be there for him this has gone on of and on for 15 years i see that i have a fantasy of us together all happy and perfect but the reality is very different i need to get some help with this as it is doing my head in and breaks my heart the only postive thing i can get from this is im learning but to not answer his call will be so diffilcult for me as ive always been their for him whenever he wants normally when hes nursing a hangover .... when he does get clean for a few weeks he doesnt ring me ... i feel like the hamster on the wheel and it hurts as this is now a pattern i have with him .. can anyone offer advice please would be grateful..x
At one level you really have
At one level you really have the answer...your post title says it all. You are powerless over this man and you are also powerless over your addiction to him. There are many practical steps you could take like attending slaa or al-anon or coda. All these fellowships deal with our powerless over our own emotions and our addiction to people. Your own recovery from substance and alcohol abuse may start to be affected if you stay around this sick man. Perhaps a change in your behaviour pattern will bring about a change in him. However personally I would never start recovery to fix anyone else. Sad experience has told me that often I can't even fix myself. My Love and Sex and fantasy addiction has led me to hopelessness, powerlessness but also the rock bottom that I needed to take action and do something. It is no accident that addicts recovering from alcohol and drug addiction started the SLAA programme. The founders realised that people could have sobriety from alchohol or drugs but that emotional and sexual sobriety was a totally different matter. In reality if you think about "practicing these principles in all our affairs". This must mean emotional and sexual affairs also. It is a lot to think about. I wish you well. You are not alone.
katie8uk thank you for
katie8uk thank you for taking the time to comment , your words are very helpful , i am talking to freinds about this stuff and i did try to go to a slaa mtg but got nervous and backed away and went to an aa one instead but i will try again im finding it very helpful just to talk to people about this stuff so therefore im feeling very good today which is a whole lot better then if i kept this stuff to myself. thankyou again god bless.x