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Reached rock bottom and still falling fast
12 May 2009 - 12:39pm — woody
Hi . Im new to SLAA and realling struggling to get clean. My bottomline behaviours are multiple online/offline affairs , masturbation and massage parlours. Thing is im married and have children and this really makes no sense to me as i seem to have everything but in the same breath nothing. Id really be glad to hear any advice as to how to make a start with this as i keep on getting drawn back to it everytime. Thanks . Dean
Dean I have just become a
Dean I have just become a member of slaa. I always knew I was codependent but I now have to accept that I have an addiction as serious as that of an alcoholic ordrug user. My love and sex addiction has led me to many dark places where anyone sane would not have chosen to go. The fact that you "have it all" yet cannot stop your compulsive behaviour is very frightening for me also. I am a bisexual (gay indentified) man who has a wonderful partner, a good life yet I have constantly sabotaged throughout my life with him. I haveattended a good number of SLAA meetings now and the one thing I am certain is thatI know I belong there and that people seem to be recovering within the safety of the fellowship. I have been reading about addiction and the neuro-stimulation that comes with addiction and know that I am addicted. However for the first time in yearsI have begun to feel hope. You are not alone Dean there are many people wishing you well.If you can try to get to some meetings or at the very least try to talk to a professional aboutthe issue. I for one know that it took me a long time to get to this place and that my selfwill and determination was not strong enough to fight the addiction. Do not give up and don'tthink all is lost. It is not and your life can get better and you can recover.
Thank you very much for your
Thank you very much for your kind words. Dean
You are not alone.
You are not alone.
You are welcome. Just try to
You are welcome. Just try to stop acting out a day at a time or indeed 12 hoursat a time. "Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle allmy problems at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime" . Do try to get to a meeting or talk to someoneyour GP can link you to services or perhaps there is a wellman clinic in your area. They can give you pointers in the right direction. Good Luck and I will pray for you.
Dear Dean Welcome on Forum
Dear Dean
Welcome on Forum first of all .I am not addicted personally but am on this and other forum as people really close to me got the same problems as you. The problem with addiction is that it;s kind of illness and like with a flu for example you don't want to get it but some people do get it and there is no proved reason who is more likely to get addicted. Sometimes addicted people are the once like you who got everything but still looking for some more sometimes it is other way round . Think you should seek advice and go on meeting which are the best thing to do as you talk with people with the same problem as you . You should as well go with your wife and seek profesional advice to help your marriage and help her uunderstand more why you doing it as usually people who are close to you are the one who being hurt the most. As You can see by yourself you can;t stop it therefore you should ask others to help . Good luck