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Hi all,I have only just come across this website and for the first time in a very long while I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I am gay and have been in a relationship for about 4 years now but right from the start I have been sleeping with other men. It all started during my Uni days when I first came out and found that the attention of other guys was something that gave me a real kick. The internet has proved to be a complete bane in my life - its so easy to log on and then meet up with someone for no strings fun. At first, I just thought that the random sex was because I was having a rough time with my partner but now, things are a lot better between us, I seem to be wanting random sex even more. Yesterday, for example, I ended up meeting two guys and I feel like it is ruling my life. I don't drink, smoke or 'get off' on porn, but I just find it so hard to pull away from the gay dating websites and msn. I really want to be monogamous and for nearly two years I was, but then I found out my partner had been messing around last October, it made me sink back into the sex websites. I know that I can break away from it but its that push I need! It does depress me to think that the sex addiction is ruling my life - I can spend hours just in chat rooms or on msn waiting for an offer to meet a guy. It has made me lie to my partner, friends and family and I don't like what it has made me become. If anyone can offer me some advice - I would be most grateful! Are there any good books out there?Thanks!
Hi it isn't easy. Although
Hi it isn't easy. Although because I live in London part of the week I can goto quite a few meetings. I am also going to try another fellowship SCA that was started by gay and bi men. I don't know what the differences are as both fellowships seem to welcome people of all sexualities. I am trying to do it a day at a time. I think that this is how I will be successful. I am going to get a sponsor as soon as I can and try to make some sense of why I am like I am. I was able to buy a book from one of the meetings I attended. It is helpful as it explains how SLAA was founded. The steps and also personal stories from sex and/or love addicts. I sort of panicked last night becauseI am in a relationship and someone at the meeting seemed to suggest that recovery could not happen in a relationship setting. I have been told this is rubbish by others in SLAA so am glad of that. I don't want to end my relationship but I do want to get healthy and sane again. My partner has been great, very supportive but I think he is a bit scared as well. I believe in a Higher Power so I have faith that things will be well in the future. If you check the chatroom I will be popping in and out over the next few days. If we meet there I will give you my email and telephone number. Your not alone.
Thanks for the reply! How
Thanks for the reply! How are you coping? I havent done anything since Thursday and am doing lots of things to take my mind off it.... Uni work has never seemed so welcoming! Lol. If you fancy a chat on msn send me a private message.
culturecrisis I have found a
culturecrisis I have found a book called Cruise Control helpful. It can be found on all the main booksellling websites. It is written by and for gay and bisexual men. It is related to sexual addiction and codependency
Hi I am gay also and a lot
Hi I am gay also and a lot of what you say is very relevant to me. I think you should try to get along to a meeting. There are loads in London, quite a few in Manchester and a growing number in other parts of the country. I went to a meeting yesterday in London where there were people of all sexualities and they all had the same common problem that sex and love addiction was negatively affecting their lives. If you want I will be in the chatroom at about 7pm this evening.