Blimey, can't quite believe i'm here but I know i have a problem, i'm just not sure what it is.  What i'd like to know from anyone is if any of the following sounds familiar.For years, i've been pretty obsessive about my relationships.  I have a VERY long string of failed 'relationships' - i put this in commas because most of them cannot even be counted as such.  I have just had a break up after 2 years after having an affair because, as always, i was thinking that something better than what I had came along, the person i had the affair with strung me along then dumped me, i didn't see it coming.  I am now in the position of having nowhere to live and feeling like a failure because i wanted children but not on my own.  It seems i'm not good enough for any man or a proper relationship with a family and i'm probably now too old which is hard to accept, or at least that's how i feel.  I'm trying to get in touch with 'old flames' who let me down in the past, thinking that they will have changed or i can change them.  This is because i just cannot do without at least one man in my life at any one time, i do not feel like a whole person without a man or the attention of one at least.  I go after 'bad' exes just so that i've at least got something.  Sorry, i know this is wrong.  I've been told by therapists that i am a bit of a commitment phobe.  Possibly, but i'd love to be settled and happy.  Saying that, i know that i crave excitement - i know this is wrong too.  I'm trying so hard to find my own security and security and happiness within myself but i just don't know where to start.  I have considered suicide.  I lost my Dad when i was 17 and it wrecked my life, maybe this has a lot to do with it.  Sorry people, i don't expect anyone out there to be atherapist, i just wondered if this sounds familiar to anyone.  I feel totally alone with this.  Would love to hear from someone.