I'm new here and have only just realised that I have a problem. I have been living with a wonderful woman for 3 years who I love, but I recently had an affair with someone who I have been seeing on and off for 5 years. Sex with my regular partner is non existant but sex with the other woman is mind blowing. I think I have serious problems equating sex and love. As soon as I feel companionate love for someone then my sex drive for them goes away
It might be that the use of pornography has skewed my perception of how sex and love fit in with each other.
I have finished the relationship with the other woman but cant stop obsessing and fantacising about her, the thought of her having sex with someone else makes me really jelous. This other woman was also the cause of my breaking up my last relationship that lasted 20 years!!
When I'm not with this other woman, I want her so badly and convince myself that she is the one I love. When I'm with her though, I know it's a flawed relationship thats based on sex, and as soon as I actually committed to her, I would go off sex completely so the relationship would end. I feel like I'm broken and cant be mended, it's caused me to have time off work with stress and I have been to relate to see about councelling. Can anyone else here relate to my dilema and is all hope lost? Will I forever go through life thinking about this other woman or will I be happy and content and in a loving "normal" relationship with the one that has forgiven so much
By the way, it's heartening to know that I'm not alone